Inspiration

My family bought Buck on September 1, just two weeks ago. He gave puppy eyes a new meaning when pleased for attention with those huge hazel eyes. He seemed so strong for a little mite, was obviously brilliant and graceful, and had a cheerful disposition. His optimism rubbed off on me, because for the first four days after we took him home, every waking moment was spent with Buck. If we were home, he was in the room we were in. If we left the house, he came with us.

He was supposed to grow up and be our guardian, our pet, and our friend... for more than four days. The vet was supposed to cure him, but I guess that was just too much to ask. We went to bed on that third night so thankful for our "perfect" puppy. When we woke, we found a listless puppy who definitely needed to see the vet. Little did we know, Buck had a heavy infestation of hookworms, sucking his blood and robbing the energy out of a precious life.

The vet gave him wormer and sent him home, with a chance for life... and the threat of death. On my way home from school, I was sitting with him, headed back to the vet for another check-up. Mom went into the office to get some more wormer, my brother and I stayed in the car, and Buck started to have a seizure. I picked him up, and rushed inside, but he died in my arms. My brother was sobbing, my mother was freaking out... and my dad was devastated. I tried so hard to feel the "right" thing... but what is the right thing to feel when your seemingly healthy puppy just died?

Thinking back, he inspires me to draw upon the strength that I have. I miss him, yes, but I will learn from his short life and the lessons he taught, instead of letting the grief destroy me. His intelligence encourages me to keep doing well in school, thus using my intellect efficiently. As far as graceful... well, let’s just say if someone stuck their foot out three feet away from me, I would still manage to trip on it. Maybe I should work on that. When I think of Buck, I am cheerful, because that is exactly what I would be if he was bouncing around in my arms.

He died just days ago, but already, I realize that he was a reminder to stick to the values I have. These concepts, Vires, Artes, and Mores, are an essential part of my life. Not because I’m not holding my puppy right now, but because I have been building my strength, morals, and intellect for the moments in life that are not just puppies and tennis balls.

A graceful introduction? I think not.

As I glide from the side of the dance floor to my love's arms, the atmosphere is not holding me back, but moving me forward. The floor is not waiting for me to move, but gently tugging me towards this man.

These forces are working for me, this man is coming for me, and I want it so badly, yet... I'm not moving!! The sudden, jolting thought woke me from my trance-like state... and I found my eyes staring directly into those beautiful brown eyes I'd dreamed of for so many nights.

The grace I had worked so hard to gain skittered away at the very moment I needed it, and cherries began to sprout from my cheekbones. As I was swept onto the dance floor, all thoughts of embarrassment were erased from my memory, and the night was an elegant ball. It was better than Cinderella's ball... because at midnight, I remained the princess that I had become.

A true story? Perhaps not.
A wish? In a way. Scrap the embarrassing parts.

My life is far from perfect, and I am far from philosophical. My nights are spent sleeping, not dreaming about brown eyes that are a delicious ooey, gooey, scrumptious smelling chocolate. Don't get me wrong - I'm not afraid of guys. I don't believe they're the plague. That type of dreaming is simply a waste of time.

To get to the point, you may enjoy this blog, and you may hate it. I am officially giving you all the permission you need to form your own opinion.

What is my goal, you may ask?

My goal is simply this: to present questions I have and go about solving them in a logical manner. Who knows - you might have been wondering the same thing!